For Andrea, the Ban to my Ginji, and the one consistently tugging me out of the darkness.

You can leave this house, leave this town
Leave it all to me, or you'll never leave the ground
Look at that tiny screen's too small for you
I think you should learn to dream, just like the dreamers do
You can leave this house, leave this town
All that's left to chart is nothing less than your own heart
What can you do with a day? What will you wake up and see?
The farther you get the closer to me
~Dar Williams, Closer To Me

The coldest hour was always the hour before dawn. This was not something Amano Ginji had read in a book - he had simply observed it through the experience of many long nights, as he did so many things. Slender hands rested on the grimy railing of a balcony, a lonely little place hidden away from the rest of the existence he knew, and yet, the only point from which he'd ever been able to look out at the world beyond Mugenjou. This was his solace, this was where he came to hide, and he had more to hide from now than he usually did.

Kadsuki's voice echoed in his mind, restraining Shido from following him when he'd told them he wanted to be alone. Shido was angry, very angry, Ginji knew, he'd fairly felt the steam rising off the man. Kadsuki, though... it had been nothing but a deep and silent sadness when he met Ginji's eyes. The image had burned its way into Ginji's soul as he blinked back tears.

In the distance, the lights of the city seemed to blur together, stretching out farther than he could see, but here in the darkness, he could make out just a few stars if he leaned his head out of the balcony. He had wondered many nights just what might be up there, out there. He had often hopped up on the railing, leaning back, looking up, his eyes drifting half-closed in thought... And indeed, this was exactly how Mido Ban found him that night, just before daybreak.

"Ginji-san..."

It was barely more than a whisper from the shadows, but Ginji started abruptly, for in all these years, no one had ever found this place aside from himself. His own reflexive tightening of his muscles threw his balance off as he sat precariously perched on the balcony, and with an arm flailing wildly, he wondered in stunned silence if letting down his guard would be his own demise.

Death was not for him that night, for no less than a second later, Ban had grabbed a hold of Ginji's shirt in his fist, yanking him out of his fall and right off the railing. Ginji's hands reached out instinctively and found Ban's arms to steady himself, both gestures leaving them standing all too close. Their eyes met for a silent breath, not a challenge so much as a question, and then Ban stepped back, letting go of him. "I'm sorry for startling you."

"How did you find this place?" Ginji turned away, leaning his elbows on the railing and looking out over the city again.

"I followed you."

Ginji's moment of silence signified his surprise, and yet he felt as if he should have guessed that. "...why?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

What was there that they could possibly talk about? Ginji wondered to himself. He had no way of explaining what had happened much earlier that night, especially in words that wouldn't sound strange to his own ears. He had no explanation for how everything, every barrier, every wall, every hard edge, had fallen away in one glance from those eyes. The very thought scared him deeply and yet intrigued him all the same. Even as much as everything in him screamed that he could trust the man standing before him, Ginji refused to allow himself to be burned by opening himself up to someone he didn't even know. "There isn't anything for us to talk about," he answered, still not even willing to look Ban in the face again. "I thought I told you that hours ago." He paused for a moment, and when Ban did not reply, he snapped out shortly. "You said you wandered here by mistake to begin with, so isn't it about time you left?"

"You could leave this place."

Ginji's blood froze at the softly spoken statement, and he whirled back on Ban in anger born out of frustration. "And who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?"

Ban shrugged, unfazed by Ginji's angry reply. "Then tell me why you stay."

Ginji had never really asked himself that question before. It had lingered at the very edges of his consciousness for years, but Mugenjou was the only place he'd ever known. He knew every crack in the walls of Lower Town, knew the name of every person who lived there, every man, every woman, every child who looked up to him. It wasn't that he wasn't physically capable of walking out any door in the place, it was only that he never had. The faces of the people he knew, the people who were loyal to him, flashed through his mind, and he saw his answer. "How could I leave them?" he murmured, looking down at the ground. "They need me."

"And you're content to kill yourself slowly while you live for everyone else and never for yourself?"

"And you're content to live for no one but yourself?" he shot back, but there was less anger in it and more curiosity.

"I've... never had a reason to do otherwise..." Ban trailed off his answer as if there were more to say, but shrugged again. "It's a big world out there, Ginji-san."

Ginji looked up again and Ban was surprised to see fear in his eyes. It was the last emotion he'd expected to see, and yet somehow the most telling sign that Ban had been right to follow him. "It's a world I don't know," he admitted, biting his lip and turning back to the balcony. The sky was just starting to grow pink on the horizon, the moon had long ago fallen from the sky.

Ban hesitated a moment in uncertainty, closing his eyes and trying to recall the moment of connection they'd had hours earlier. No one had ever stopped him so dead in his tracks before, had so completely thrown off every amount of focus, every bit of cold and steely concentration he'd drilled into himself over the years. It was the only moment he could ever recall feeling warm...whole... and as much as the newness of it unnerved him, he was more afraid of letting it slip away than he was of the unthinkable thing he was about to request. He reached out to place a hand on Ginji's shoulder from behind. "Come with me."

A hundred negative replies filtered through Ginji's mind in an instant as he turned and stared at Ban in surprise. Time seemed to stop, a hundred lines of dialogue, questions, fears, hopes, dreams passed between blue and brown as the sun chased away the last dusting of night, shedding a golden shaft of light across the balcony.

Ginji reached up a hand, tentative, to touch Ban's cheek. He had no reason to trust him, truly, and leaving might be at once the hardest and easiest thing he'd ever done in his life. Still, for all the reasons not to go, he could find only one reason to - he wanted to know the man before him. "Okay," he finally whispered. "It... it won't be easy..." he added, before Ban could reply.

"The further you get from this place..." Ban started, stepping just a little closer to Ginji. He paused, his hand still steady on Ginji's shoulder as Ginji's fingers brushed along his cheek. "I can't promise you much... but I can promise you won't be alone."

"Ban-chan..." Ginji mused thoughtfully, and the corners of Ban's mouth lifted in a surprised smirk. "Thank you."

It was then that Ginji smiled. Years later, Ban would still swear it had been a brighter sight than the day break sun.